Note to my broken self:
When you let someone go, there’s a high chance he/she will still come to you, wait for you, hope for you to come back.
But when he/she stops chasing you, you’ll come to him/her, wait for him/her to come back and hope that he/she still hopes for you to be together.
Life is unfair and love always wins, they say.
But I tell you, save yourself.
Think of the times he/she hurt you, the times he/she didn’t care, the times he/she chose someone or something over you while he/she was the only option you ever had, the times he/she threw you those heartless words that you never ever imagined saying to him/her because for you he/she is so precious that he/she does not deserve a single heartache.
Think of the times you neglected other people that cared for you because you thought he/she is the only person who can accept you, the times you needed someone to be there but he/she was busy making good times with others, the times you had sleepless and cold nights because he/she didn’t want to be with you, the times he/she hit you hard emotionally and even physically if it applies.
Think of the very moment he/she cheated on you if he/she ever did, think of those sweet messages he/she sent to other people, the affection he/she gave to others while you, yourself has also been longing for it for a long time now, the times you felt ugly, down and useless because that’s what he/she made you feel instead of helping you compose yourself and believe that you can.
Think of the times he/she made you feel bad because of the thousand things you did wrong while out of those thousand reasons he/she had, you have only one reason to hold on, that is because you loved him/her.
Think of the broken dreams you made together.
Think of the pain and ask yourself, do you deserve it? You know, you never really let him/her go in the first place. You let yourself go because you love yourself. That’s the most basic thing you need for you to love again and be loved, truly.
It will take time, yes. It will take tears, lonely nights, cold and dark and windy nights. But I tell you, it will be over and all of these things are worth doing because it is for yourself. Someone will come to help you, someone will hurt you again. It’s the reality. You don’t avoid people so you can save yourself from being hurt. Instead, you make yourself stronger so you can accept and forgive and move on. It’s for you. That’s the first kind of love that shall win, love for yourself.
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