What is it like to work in the same office with your husband?

I’m not sure if a lot can relate to this but it’s funny how this turns out for us as a couple. It is not new for Nico and I to work in the same company. We don’t usually talk about “us” to others so I bet only few people know that we met each other in our previous workplace back in the Philippines. I won’t go into detail how we met and turned into lovers. That would be another funny story (LOL) but in this post, I’d like to share the experiences and differences we learned as we work together in the same office.

I asked some of my friends how they’d feel if they are in my situation. I have few friends who also met their special someone in the same company where they work/worked in. Some of them are no longer in the same job and some are no longer together. My friends have different views about this especially since as far as I know, not all companies in the Philippines tolerate relationships like this as there can be conflict of interest. I think there’s even a company policy that talks about it.

Good thing, it’s not really a problem in our current job. I didn’t even tell him to submit his application when there was an open position in our company. We’re lucky enough the recruiter had found his resumé online and invited him for an interview in the same office I’ve been working in. As soon as I learned about this, I became so excited that I’d get to work with him again (clingy me). 

Don’t get me wrong.

It’s not always cheesy moments.

Most of the days we are more of colleagues than husband and wife. How fun is that. I also personally learned a lot of things about him and about us as a couple. It’s a nice experience and now that I’m still on leave, it feels like I am not totally left out because he keeps talking about work (our work) to me all the time (not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, though, LOL).

We are both competitive

In work, there’s always a competition especially if two employees are in the same group, working on the same tasks. Of course, competition can be healthy or not. I can say, it is a healthy competition between the two of us (for now LOL). When it comes to work, he has more years of experience than me even though I am months older than him. I talked about me graduating later than expected in this post. In our previous company, he was my senior when it comes to work hierarchy but I didn’t really need to report directly to him. We just had a few projects where we were able to work together. 

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Since we are now in the same team doing almost the same tasks, we couldn’t completely set aside the competition especially if one has done more tasks than the other. By the end of the day, we usually talk about the things we accomplished separately in the office and compare with one another. This is our usual topic on our way home. LOL. How boring for others but we really like talking about it and give each other more inputs even though the meeting has been ended hours ago. I usually tease him and he’ll just laugh at it. This is how we annoy each other most of the time. Are we boring? LOL. 

But I am more competitive

He knows it. I can be really competitive sometimes that’s why I always tend to push him to do better. This is also what I do to myself, to be fair. I like it when I finish the work well and fast and I tend to get frustrated when I don’t. I hate that feeling so I keep doing what it takes not to disappoint myself again. He, on the other way around, is so calm and chill whenever he’s not able to finish certain task. I usually think we are the perfect combo because we are opposite in a lot of things. LOL. When work gets a little stressful, he’s still hopeful. He can be regretful at times but he is so self-forgiving – something I am thankful that I learned from him. 

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Because I am the “more competitive one” and because I’ve been working longer than him in the office, he likes asking for my opinion about his tasks. I like it that we get to exchange ideas about work, constructively criticize each other and encourage one another to be better and better. I think to sum it up, as I encourage him to push hard to his limits, he’s teaching me to take it easy and enjoy the process. What a team!

He’s thoughtful as always

Okay, to make this clear, he’s not a very cheesy guy. Not your sending-you-super-sweet-long-messages type of guy. He’ll send me back one heart emoji after me sending him super long appreciation message and that’s it. LOL. We won’t see each other for some days and he’ll only send 2-3 short messages. I’m laughing with eyes rolling while writing this because I remember the days when we’re still dating. Oh, this guy. But even though he’s not the super showy type, he’s very thoughtful.

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Even before in our previous company, he used to put some random food on my desk from time to time so I could eat something while working. He would make me coffee if I couldn’t (because he knows I drink coffee 2-3x a day) and he would carry my bag for me when I’m feeling tired (yes, only when I’m feeling tired because he has his own bag to carry, too) on our way home when I was still pregnant with Sapphire. Being professional in the workplace is very important for us, especially for me, personally, but I appreciate his kind gestures especially if the day is hectic that we couldn’t even talk to each other or have lunch together.

We’re both workaholic

Not always a good thing but we both bring our work at home. Maybe it’s because, since we work in the same company, we understand the importance of finishing work at home if one was not able to finish it in the office. This is not about the job we have, to make it clear. We have a very flexible work hours, really nice colleagues and bosses and a good work and life balance. It’s not that the time we spend in the office is not enough, it’s more like we want to finish tasks well before doing another. And for this, we understand each other.

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Because we like bringing the work to our house, we made a “rule” that if one of us is working at home (after working in the office), the other one should stay with the kids. This is very important and in the first place, the job we take at home isn’t really something that will take much of our time and attention so light work-related task at home is still okay.

But we’re both family-centered

We can be workaholic at times but we always make sure that family comes first. This is also the reason why we really like that we moved here in Finland as they really value work-life balance here. They have really good welfare system for families, too. It balances the fact that we can work really hard but still have enough quality time for the family. 

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After work, we usually fetch Skyler from the daycare before going home. But if one of us is still busy, one must already go to get Skyler while the other one can still stay in the office for a few more hours. This has already been an unspoken rule of our family. Sometimes, we get Skyler earlier and take him to the office with us if it’s not very busy or if there’s a family event. One really nice thing about our company is that they know and understand our responsibility as parents and they support us.

His charisma always works wonders

Nico has always had this charisma to people (especially to elderlies 🙂 ). He’s so approachable and comfortable to talk to which made it easy for him to interact with others in the office. Our colleagues are so fond of working with him and it came as a benefit for me because I don’t have to kinda build him up for them.

In the office, we are individuals with different tasks to do and I can clearly draw a line between us being workmates and couple. As his workmate, I can see him getting along with other people well and even better than I did when I started in this job. I am not good at small talks, that’s why. And he’s very good at it. It’s kinda uncomfortable for me, at first, to go out with them and it took time for me to really get along very well but he aced it. A few days after I left the office for maternity leave, he already talked about him going out for lunch with them, after work parties and some light conversations about topics anything under the sun. Knowing Nico, even though he’s good at talking to people, he can be very shy at first so I am so proud of him that he has started to come out of his comfort zone and loosen up a bit.

We like to be together even if it means working together

Are we that clingy? LOL. I think we both have the same feelings about this. Nico and I like being together if we can but if not, it’s still okay. We don’t look at it as if it’s a big deal that we work in the same company but it’s more of a fun thing to do as couples, working (professionally) with each other. It’s good that we both take our work seriously but fun part is when go home together and talk about it, it will be like as if we’re in different companies who just happen to know each other’s workmates. 

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Even at home, we like figuring work-related things out without, of course, compromising our time with the kids and with each other. I thought it would be more serious and hectic to work with him again because we are husband and wife and with kids now but it became other way around (at least for now). Because I work with him, things become easier and less stiff.

We can be very professional

It’s given that we like working together but even before we are husband and wife, we always put being professional in our workplace at first. It’s important for the both of us to stay this way because we personally like to see ourselves as career-oriented individuals. We still talk about personal stuff in the office, of course, just like any other employee but we make sure that our personal lives are always separate from our professional lives. It’s one thing. Our colleagues are also so supportive to set aside the fact that we are also couples. I don’t feel like I have to hide something from them. I don’t even feel uncomfortable when I’m with Nico and they’re around. They are cool to work with and very professional which also pushes Nico and I to always be in our best selves at work.

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Maybe some will think, what if we had misunderstanding at home and we both had to go to work. By the way, we used to sit opposite to each other so he’s right in front of my desk. LOL. We didn’t choose our work station but it’s funny I get to see his face almost, literally, every hour except if we have different meetings to attend to that last more than an hour. LOL. So to answer that question, we haven’t had any misunderstandings yet to the point that we wouldn’t talk to each other or something that would hinder us from working together. That, we can easily manage. But I remember one time when I was still pregnant with our second baby (and I’m blaming my progesterone for this LOL), I had to leave him in the office to eat outside for lunch because I was sooooo hungry I didn’t even have the time to tell him where I was going. LOL. So he kept looking for me, he even skipped lunch because of it. LOL. 

But by the end of the day,

we are husband and wife and we love it.

As two hard-working individuals, just like any other employees, our favorite part of the day is going home to our loved ones which, in our case, the other half is already with us all day long. How cool is that. By the end of the day, we are always excited to see the kids after a long day at work. This is our time where we can be like any other typical husband and wife again, talking about family stuff, arguing about petty things like what to eat for dinner, who will go to Skyler’s school meeting, blaming each other for waking up late that day and many more. 

Because we are both working and we now have two little kids, it has become a bit tight for us to find a way to have a date, unwind together and have quality time as a couple. But because we are together most of the time in a day, we never really feel like we are missing out on dates and things like that. Both of us are not so difficult to please and we can both be happy for simple things like spending time together working or even doing nothing. 

Growing up independent, I never thought I would be so attached to a person like this

but even though we are always together, we both didn’t have problem with being far from each other for several days. Now that I am on maternity leave, there were times that Nico would be gone for some days due to work and I’d be left with the kids at home and we’re fine with that. I also started to appreciate “me time” and Nico has always supported me to do whatever I want to do, especially if I want some time alone. Whenever we are apart for some days, we still miss each other and just like any other couple, we’re excited to be together again.

I can say that we really are good team players. We can make a good team but it’s always different, far different from being husband and wife, you know. For this part, we’ve got a long way to go, conflicts to solve, maybe more kids to raise and dreams to achieve. We may get lost in the process, we may change jobs after a few years, we may like different things in the future, we may or may not be together always but the time we spend together is irreplaceable and unique and for that, I’m always grateful that he is both my husband and colleague.